I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
