Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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