my mouth tastes like poor choices
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
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I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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