he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize