4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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