i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
