i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
