He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
