so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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