pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
