Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
