You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
