I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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