i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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