My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
