He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
