now i know why i became what i already was.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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