We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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