Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You were trust falling into bushes
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
