The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
