Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
