So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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