Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
