I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My breasts were aching with rage.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
