i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
