What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
