I need help removing her.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize