I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
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Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
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Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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