Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
is it fun? or sober?
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