I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
he's gonorrhea incarnate
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize