she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
ugly people sure do ruin things
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
