its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize