I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
