I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
