sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize