i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize
