im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My penis needs a shock collar
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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