Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
