Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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