my sisters under your porch take her home
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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