The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
