Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Your penis caused this!
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