I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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