He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
