I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
