I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
