Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
