Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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