dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
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Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
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How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
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I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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