when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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