My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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