NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
