i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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