she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize