no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
