Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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